Have you ever felt the need to justify your eating habits? I know I have. Remember when I had those binging fits a few weeks ago? I had that relentless need for pizza and/or a candy bar. I simply justified the consumption by saying, "Oh well, I'm going to the gym tomorrow. I can eat what I want, when I want."
I think I was rather arrogant and naive to think that it would not catch up to me by the dreaded scale. Well, yes it did. The influence on the scale may not be immediate or "within a few days," but it does catch up to you on the scale eventually.
Much to my dismay, I have not been able to back up that justification of eating whatever I want (and when I want). I have not been back to the gym probably for about a week. Part of the issue was my car was having difficulties. That issue has been remedied. The other issue is an injury. My so-called good foot is not so good lately.
In what seems like a soap opera of epic proportions are simply my klutz-like health problems. It is quite frustrating. It seems as if I have a punch-card at the hospital and the doctor's office. Attend (buy) nine visits, get one visit free. If it's not one thing, it's another. From spinal stenosis (in my back), to severe arthritis in my right foot, I am getting rather annoyed with these health issues.
Now what? Well, about six months or so ago ... I kicked a wall (accidental, of course) with my left foot. There was a Band-Aid stuck to the bottom of my foot and I was apparently too lazy to bend over my fat flab to remove it. So, I kicked the wall in attempts to shake off the Band-Aid. So, what happened? Pain shot through my foot. After a couple of weeks passed, the pain diminished. Then, I felt and heard a loud "pop" in that same foot. I was told that I had a healing "fracture." After awhile, that pain diminished with no need for treatment, too.
Now, we fast forward to the present. When I was going to the Y and using the recumbent bike (approximately 1 1/2 weeks ago), my left foot went totally numb. I really didn't think too much of it. About four days ago, I had a lot of pain in that same foot. It ran across my toes; to the top of my foot and along the left side (of the foot). An MRI was ordered and I am waiting for the test results.
As you can see, I am frustrated, disappointed and saddened. Not too sad that I'm going to contact Dr. Phil or something. However, sad enough that it yields some sort of reaction/action. The reaction: it is what it is. I have an injury. I have binged. I have not gone to the gym due to some circumstances beyond my control. Now what? The action: it's OK ... frustration, disappointment and sadness are normal and acceptable feelings so what do I do with all of that information? Seeing as though I have injury, I can at least go back to doing myself a favor and eating healthier.
Therefore, as I have said before, use these feelings as motivation. Keep in check those feelings and try not to get them so far out of reach that you have to indulge too much. I think a little indulging is acceptable, but not when those negative feelings rear its big, ugly head.
So what is that magic number on the scale? No, it is not great news. I did gain. I weigh 300 pounds, a gain of nine (pounds). Arrgghh! That number sucks ... however, I'm not going to let it get me so far down that I can't recover. I'm not going to lie and/or misinform others (or myself) to believe in a delusional number that I would like to appear on the scale.
It is time to go back to basics. That means, go back to eating healthier even if I can't exercise with intensity. Hopefully, I will have some good news regarding my MRI of my left foot. Rest assured, I'm still going to fight my battle with the bulge no matter what!
Casi Stewart can be reached at casichilstew@yahoo.com. A Weighty Issue appears every other Monday on Life.
