My faith wobbles and falls off the table. I think it will certainly shatter when it hits the floor, but somehow this loving hand reaches out to catch and restore it.
The force that causes the wobble is the awful fear that God isn't who He says He is; that I'm not really His kid; that He's never going to show up; that He's so mad at me there's no remedy.
I picture Him with glaring eyes bearing down on me, red faced and accusing. But then, (and there's ALWAYS a "but then," even when I consciously attempt to throw away my faith (because I feel I will never get it right anyhow!) BUT THEN this gentle voice says to me, "Well, that's what you THINK, but what do I say?"
Knowing that Jesus himself used scripture as a weapon when He was tempted in the wilderness shows me how I should proceed against such lies myself. (Matthew 4:1-11) Ephesians 6 calls the word of God, "the sword of the spirit."
So then I climb back up on my rock and search my memory for those words that have saved me time and time again. His words supplant mine, drive out fear, lift me out of the depths of depression, give me energy, hope, strength...all that I'm lacking. If I'm stuck in the muck, His word sets me free.
I just need to plant the truth in my stubborn brain that God is love. God is love -God is love-He loves me! And the terrible troubles that cause me so much pain aren't His way of punishing me. He hasn't forgotten me nor has He let my desperate prayers fall to the ground unnoticed. But He has me in a process of refinement. He has a plan that requires me to be golden - and nothing else will do for His daughter.
This thing isn't for wimps and cowards. But perfect love casts out fear. I pick up my weapon and soldier on - step by step, day by day.
Cindy Lincoln is the author of "Dukin' it out with God" and "The Secret Adventures of Super Nellie", both available through amazon.com and other online bookstores. She is a member of Marietta Community Church. Those interested in scheduling a date for writing a Thoughts of Faith column should contact Christy Hudson at 376-5446 or chudson@mariettatimes.com. Or, if a Thoughts of Faith column is written at the writer's convenience and sent to The Times, it will run the first available date.
