On June 18, 2020, police were called to Dunkin Donuts in Forest Park, IL, after 2 men, one with a knife, threatened an employee. The men were blocking the doors, preventing customers from entering the restaurant. When an employee asked them to move, one of the men pulled a knife and responded, “I don’t like you anyway; you disrespected my girl last week.” While investigating the incident, police learned that the man had been caught in a theft the previous week, and had been asked to leave the restaurant and never return.

The man had an interesting definition of respect, don’t you think? He was trying to steal, got caught, and was allowed to go with a warning not to return when he could have been arrested and prosecuted. Somehow, though, he decided that he and his girlfriend had been “disrespected” in that encounter and he therefore had a right to return to the restaurant and pull a knife!

My Dad told me that respect must be earned.

No single Greek word in Scripture is translated into the English word “respect.” Rather, a number of different words teach us about respect and how it’s earned.

For example, 1 Thessalonians 4:10-12 (NIV) reads, “And in fact, you do love all of God’s family throughout Macedonia. Yet we urge you, brothers and sisters, to do so more and more, and to make it your ambition to lead a quiet life: You should mind your own business and work with your hands, just as we told you, so that your daily life may win the respect of outsiders and so that you will not be dependent on anybody.” Paul taught that one should work to make his own way through life, not taking advantage of or depending on their generosity. Respect, the Apostle Paul believed, was earned by how one behaves.

Cornelius, the Roman soldier whose story is told in Acts 10-11, illustrates this truth. Most Roman soldiers were hated by the Jewish people. Rome ruled ruthlessly over the Jewish population, and many soldiers used their position to enrich or amuse themselves at the expense of the Jews. Cornelius was an exception, a man who honored the Jews and gave generously from his own wealth to help Jews who were financially struggling. That’s why Acts 10:22 describes Cornelius as “a righteous and God-fearing man, respected by all the Jewish people.”

Respect is earned when we treat other people as though they are important to us. Philippians 2:3-4 instructs us to “Do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit. Rather, in humility value others above yourselves, not looking to your own interests but each of you to the interests of the others.”

Art Rooney, Sr., the first owner of the Pittsburgh Steelers, lived on Pittsburgh’s North Side, an area of town that became increasingly “rough” over the years. Rooney, however, walked to work every day with no fear for his own safety. Rooney was so highly respected that, even when the Sanitation Workers went on strike, Rooney’s trash still got picked up. Asked why he enjoyed so much respect, Rooney didn’t just attribute it to being the team owner in a “football town.” “My father always used to tell us boys,” Rooney said, “Treat everybody the way you want to be treated. Give them the benefit of the doubt. But never let anyone mistake kindness for weakness.” Rooney walked to work, greeting his neighbors along the route. He never acted as though his money and fame gave him the right to lord it over others.

Of course, if respect for others is genuine, it’s shown all the time, even behind closed doors. 1 Peter 3:7 uses one of those words for respect when Peter commands, “Husbands…be considerate as you live with your wives, and treat them with respect as the weaker partner and as heirs with you of the gracious gift of life, so that nothing will hinder your prayers.” It’s instructive to note that in that text, Peter ties one’s spiritual welfare – the efficacy of one’s prayers – to their treatment of others in the home. It’s as though Peter is telling us that if we don’t respect others, God won’t respect us!

Looking back over the Bible’s teaching about respect, it’s apparent that a lot of that teaching simply falls into the arena of “common sense.” But reading headlines and watching news reports might lead one to conclude that common sense isn’t very common after all!